Friday, August 7, 2009

Grief

In Memory of my red 1991 Toyota Tercel. I will never, never forget you.

We had spent twelve good years together, but I knew I had to let her go. They say that children change your life and in my case it turned out to be true. Red had always been there when I needed her, but now circumstances had conspired to create a situation for us in which there was no solution. I had trusted her with my most treasured gift: my son . She always took good care of him, but ironically he was the reason she had to leave. During our last night together with tears running down my face, I closed my eyes and touched her familiar body. My mind drifted back to the beginning...

We met in Baltimore in 1991 and I liked her the first time I saw her. She was surrounded by men who wanted to use her for gain, but I rescued her from that existence. After she became mine, she was rarely alone. I truly loved her as a sister and a friend. Together, we ran a thriving business.

Then, as the years went by my son began to change. He grew and grew and grew some more. I ignored him when he began to complain about Red. He said he was uncomfortable with her because she did not allow him to be the person he was meant to be. He claimed he needed more space and she could not let him have it. Finally I had to grudgingly admit that he had outgrown her. And so I painfully traded my beautiful red car for a family sedan.

I still do not know if I made the right decision. I will always miss her. We give up so much for our children. Can you tell me if it is worth it?




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