Now is when my struggle began, because I found myself attracted to a white man and against my own personal will. How did I feel? I felt confused, ambivalent, mixed up, embarrassed, ashamed, and amazed. The music says it better than I can.
Puzzling over what to do made me come out of my self somewhat; was I really who I thought I was, and who was Jake? I was not supposed to be intimately connected with a man like him. He certainly was not my type of guy or was he? And I still don't have it completely figured out.