Monday, February 27, 2012

Going In Circles



I don't have a problem with being lost.  That's probably because I get lost on a regular basis.  I can find my way by looking at the position of the sun or from experience without knowing the name of streets.  Sunday morning Jake and I got lost in downtown Washington, D.C. looking for a church where my little brother (he's thirty-five) was being baptized.  We saw all the people lined up to see the  attractions, the poorer sections of our capitol and that erect pointy white phallic symbol also called a obelisk and a monument.  Did ya'll know that G street NE is on the other side of town from G street NW?  You probably did.  We didn't.  We do now.

Jake on the other hand doesn't like to get lost.  Have you ever seen a grown man have a tearful tantrum behind the wheel?  That might be a bit of an embellishment but he did almost run three men over on the sidewalk.

They shouted "Hey man. What you doing? You trying to run us over?"

He replied, "Shut up. I've got a truck." He gunned the engine and sped away.

At this point I am silent and dazed because I had no idea where we were and Jake was angry at me because I had downloaded the wrong directions from Google Maps.

Meanwhile Bub had found the church, which I think irritated Jake a little.  Bub kept giving us the wrong directions on the phone.  He was insisting the church was on K NW and 7TH.  It was on 13TH and G NW.  My brother was absolutely no help.  He didn't know if we should turn left or right.  He does usually use the subway.  So my brother's friend told us to go to 13TH and turn left. 13TH is a one way street.  We could have gone to 14TH and turned but the baptism was over, and Jake just wanted to get the hell out of D.C.  He wouldn't let me drive because it's his truck.

Those kind of situations make me giggle.  So I'm laughing and Jake's silent and fuming.  Then he missed the turn onto 95 and started screaming and cussing which just made me laugh harder.

The experience wasn't totally a waste of expensive gas.  I know how to go downtown.  Jake did eventually calm down and see the humor of the situation.  What did it was driving past a docked Carnival cruise ship and imagining what it would be like if it turned on it's side.  That is serious.  Getting lost is not.

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