Monday, April 9, 2012

Worrying About What People Think

I have a serious problem.

For some irrational reason I am fearful of what other people think.  I mean people who do not know me and I do not know them. Then there are the people who think they know me that I do not have a relationship with.

I did not have this problem when I was younger.  When I got married I changed.  Why did I change?  I was trying to fit into a new environment.  We moved from a state I liked to a state I will never fit into.

As I get older I do not have the energy to try to fit in.  Also, people work my nerves with their bullshit.  One of the things that I have slowly learned and accepted is that all people, that is everybody,  have faults, problems, and disappointments.  Yet they continually put other people down.  Probably to deflect attention from themselves.  I admit I am occasionally guilty of this too.

From now on I am going to concentrate on myself and ignore what most people say about me, usually behind my back.  I am going to work on my goals and try to please myself and try to leave other people alone most of the time. Yep. I will let Bub make his own mistakes just like I did.  It really feels good to live this way.

Be good to yourself or I'm going to talk about you.


  1. There's always a reason for everything. I am so glad you stopped by my blog and commented. I came to say thanks and found this wonderful post. I am going to repost it to my blog if you don't mind with a link back here. I have one thing to say - Amen! I don't care what people think of me anymore either. I like me. Just because someone else thinks some of my characteristics are flaws doesn't mean I do. Donna

    1. "Just because someone else thinks some of my characteristics are flaws doesn't mean I do." Those are some wise words I will remember.

  2. Heehee, Donna, you hooked me like a fish and now I'm following your blog and Juday's. I'm also a mum, nanna, wife and I'm menopausal and don't care what folks think of me either. Um, maybe I never did. LOL. I'm the odd sibling in my family and sometimes get told I'm a dag for saving odd unbroken thongs, (no, not the ones you wear on your butt, the ones you wear on the feet. I think they're called flip-flops in the US.) Anyway if one of my thongs break, I save the other one. When I have two, I wear them around the garden. It's not my fault I sometimes forget I'm wearing thongs of different colours and styles when I pop to the shop. Nor is it my fault if I stop to pick grass for my guinea pigs and can't bend my knees. I'm only five foot and if my butt sticks out like the moon, too bad.

    My family complain that I talk over the top of them and say I'm stubborn because I won't change. Well, they don't have to listen. Maybe they should stop phoning me with their problems, then I could get on with other things, like writing my children's books, illustrating, reviewing, marketing, babysitting, cooking, oh and caring for injured wildlife.

    I decided a few years ago that I like cyber friends best. You don't have to get dressed when you visit them, or cook and clean for them. That leaves more time for chatting, writing, reading and blogging of course. LOL. Plus they can't criticise your shoes, make-up, clothes, hair, or my fat butt. LOL.

    1. I really like the different flip-flops. Sometimes I wear different colored socks that coordinate with my outfit just because I can.:)

      Once I met this woman on a study-abroad trip to Morocco and she had the audacity to tell me she thought I was timid and worried about my future. Knew this woman for two days! At the time I was suffering with severe pain from fibroids and heavy bleeding and had to take pain pills. They made me kind of spacey. When I think about her now I get angry.

  3. Judaye, I know what that pain is like. I't's like a rat eating out you insides. I had the same problem for ten years until the doctor told me I would die without the operation they'd advised years before. I had to have it and was so glad I did. No more pain, no more codeine, and no more Mrs Nice Guy, menopause instead. :) Now, I'm a grouchy grunion like Great Aunt Mabel, one of my characters in my Rascals series. LOL.

    Odd socks are great! My daughter laughs at my outfits. She once told me that orange and red didn't go together, then a year later, those colours wear in fashion and she wore them. Heehee.

    When I was a teenager, I used to get laughed at at work for wearing sandals with a mini fake-fur coat. I loved my ankle-strap sandals because they were comfortable. I was sitting on the toilet at work and overheard two women talking about me wearing them with the coat and saying how ridiculous they looked. They didn't know I was in the loo because my legs were short and the toilet was high. So when I walked out of the cubicle in my sandals, they both went red then buggered off. I kept wearing those sandals all winter, with the fake fur coat and matching fur hat. Heehee. Wish I had a photo. I do of the sandals, but not with the coat.

    Nice to meet you Judaye.

  4. I'm sorry Trish. I sometimes to go back and answer comments and emails. I think it's the drugs I'm on and getting older.

    I'm going to have to do something about my fibroids. Right now I'm thinking about a partial hysterectomy so I can I keep my ovaries and get rid of the uterus. I'm scared because I haven't ever had any surgery. I did get an embolization to shrink them four years ago, but the damn fibroids grew back. My gyn says they should shrink after I go through menopause and my estrogen levels go down. I don't think I can wait until then. That is four more years and by then I will be looking as if I'm eight months pregnant. Right now I can hardly fit into my clothes. I look like I'm five months pregnant. I'm going to have to make my decision in the next few months.

    I like that you wear what you like. Most people are so boring. They live in houses that look the same and wear the same kind of clothes. Ugh. Anything that deviates from their standard of conformity freaks them out. It's like they don't know what to do with it.

    It's nice to meet you too Trish.


  5. Hi Judaye, go for the operation! I had four years to wait for menopause too, but I had the same problems as you. I could do all the things I used to do after the operation, well maybe not all, but I was able to go on my bush walks again and without pain. I had the partial too, but it's advised to go for the full. I wish I had now as there is a chance of getting ovarian cancer. Also ask your doctor if you can have the implanted HRT. I was asked if I wanted that, but said no. Now I wished I had said yes and I wouldn't have to take the pills. Though I stopped for a while. They are a great help in menopause, but as long as you don't have heart trouble or a family history of breast cancer.

    Good luck, Judaye, I know what you're going through and it's a nightmare. The operation isn't so bad, well worth it IMO.