Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Why am I crying?

This past weekend my son and his girlfriend came over and we had a cookout.  Jake and I like his woman.  In fact, he went out and picked the kind of girl I would like to see him with.  She got good sense. That's all we care about.  The girl has common sense.  Everything else is irrelevant.

We were looking at some old pictures.  I said in I would always see that child's face and Bub would forevermore be my boy.  The next day I realized I actually see all of his ages when looking at him, that he is no longer my boy but a young man with his own life to live. Immediately a wave sadness came over me.

I started to cry, but couldn't figure out why.  Jake and I both like having our freedom again as we did before we had Bub.  We come and go as we please.  We don't have to worry about babysitters or bother about dinner.  We don't want to go back.

What I worked out is we can never go back.  The finality is scary.  Bub's childhood is over.  If I had understood I would have paid more attention.  Now it's important to savor these times because one day they will be over too.  This realization brought tears to my eyes.

Bub and the Andretti's around 1990

No comments:

Post a Comment